9.23.2011

Car Things

Things I have in my car:
  1. An umbrella. And yet I still always forget to take it with me when it rains while I'm walking around (or conversely, it never rains during the times I remember to grab it). I guess what I'm saying is that I've been wet a lot this week.
  2. Bath and Body Work's "Autumn" car freshener. Sometimes when I'm smelling the crisp, sweet, earthiness that it bastes my car in, I take the time to contemplate how God has blessed us through this store. Nothing smells bad in there. Nothing. I could go into the store looking for a present for someone, close my eyes and grab anything, and the person would love it because it smells amazing.
  3. A bunch of clothes more suitable for summer. I know I should get those tank tops and shorts out of there and replace them with jeans and sweatshirts, but the chances are high that as soon as I do that the weather will shoot to 87 degrees on a day where I decided to wear my long-sleeved polo and ugly pants to work in the morning, thus leaving me with nothing suitable to change into. Thus my hesitation.
  4. A pair of earrings. Maybe someday I'll be sitting in my car looking at what I'm wearing and say, "Shoot, I forgot earrings!" and then look down and there they'll be, all perfect and convenient. These are my dreams.
  5. Car charger and auxiliary input cable. The only team you need for listening to music in your car. Well I mean you need a stereo that has an auxiliary input plug. And an mp3 player of some kind (like a Zune...just kidding, who doesn't have an iPod?). Anyway.
Things I need to put in [or on] my car:
  1. My string dolls. Shut up, one's an outlaw and one's a pirate with a thumbtack peg leg and they'll be magical protective talismans (talismen?) once I hang them on my mirror. You're jealous.
  2. Stickers. Lots and lots of dorky, clever, bumper stickers. Right now all I have is the Covenant Fellowship 25th anniversary magnet, which isn't even a sticker it's a magnet. But it is awesome.
  3. Cold weather clothes. I think it would be wise for me to keep at least one full outfit in my car for emergencies, and it would probably be helpful if the outfit wasn't a tank-top, shorts, and flip-flops like it is right now. The wisdom in this is pretty much proved to be vast by point #1 in my first list.
  4. A towel. Because of the rain. And my ineptitude surrounding that particular life situation.
  5. A blanket. This is an extremely useful thing to have lying around your car. It's like a Swiss Army knife, only bigger. You can use it to cover the ground if you spontaneously have a picnic; you can use it as a curtain or something if you desperately need to change in your car (like, if you for some reason got soaking wet walking to your car and had a towel and a nice, dry, warm set of clothes beckoning you from the back seat...theoretically); and I can personally attest to the fact that when you are a passenger driving with someone on a cold autumn's/winter's morning/day/night having a blanket is literally the best thing ever. 
  6. A snuggie. So I can drive and still experience some of the wonder of the last point made in #4.
  7. A first-aid kit. I'm thinking I want to make one myself. That way the band-aids will be Batman band-aids, and it will include essentials that most manufacturers are remiss in omitting, like stickers and lollipops (but not butterscotch ones, those are gross).
  8. Snacks. As the semester progresses I'm falling into this habit of not eating. I don't know how or why this is happening.
  9. I dunno, like, survival stuff I guess. Like...water. And road flares, or something. Dehydrated food?
If I plan right I should be able to live semi-comfortably out of my car should some disaster strike. Like, I dunno, the zombie apocalypse. I can drive through the desolate country-side, keeping my Bath and Body Work's car freshener close to my nose to obscure the scent of rotting corpses and stagnating society; I'll comfort myself with songs I used to listen to in highschool--when life was simple and unterrifying--and old PDI worship songs using my car charger and AI cable; at nights I will curl into a ball in the back seat, wrapping my blanket around my body like a protective shell, using my snuggie as both a pillow and to drown out the distant moans of hunting zombies; when I come across survivors I shall do what I can for them, sharing water and dehydrated food, and aiding the wounded with my Batman band-aids. I'll even have at least one extra outfit to change into! I'll probably last like a whole two weeks like that. Maybe three. After that I'll probably starve, or get beaten to death by looters when they break into my car to steal my magical string doll talismen.

Of course since a Facebook quiz assures me I'll only survive at most the first five months after the original cataclysm, I think that's okay.

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